Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Testy Times

1. Sonnets of Shakespeare - all 154 of them.
2. Faerie Queene by Edmund Spenser - Book VI, approximately 600 stanzas of allegory, which includes everything, from knight in shining armour to distressed damsel, lascivious cannibals and other interesting titbits of fantasy. The underlying meaning has something to do with Queen Elizabeth, Ireland and Protestantism. I'm not sure I give a damn about the underlying meaning.
3. Bleak House by Charles Dickens - 1000 pages.

I have a day to begin, complete and research 1. and 2., and 4 days to begin, read and research 3.

This is not the life I bargained for.

LOOK OUT! HERE COMES THE SHOPPERWOMAN



With her shopper-human ability to spot the most expensive and least substantial clothes, Shopperwoman Paris Hilton swings from one designer boutique to another, saving shopping malls with her able sidekick Citibank Platinum credit card. Seen here is Shopperwoman spearheading the Retail Revolution, having saved several harried Valentinos and Manolo Blahniks from inevitable ruin at the hands of her arch-enemy, The Frumpy Foes of Fashion also known as The Middle Class. [Shopperwoman costume designed by Versace, of dressing-liz hurley-in-safety pins fame.]


I want her life. And her legs.

Is it very obvious that I have nothing to say?

3 comments:

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babelfish said...

correction, bleak house test is on wednesday :D spread the word will you.....and you can rid yourself of non-readership woes....I have discovered your blog and will now proceed to harass you no end with comments till you might just be wanting to block me :D :D
And if you are who i think you are fat is not the operative term 'hot' is!
Also I may be the babelfish but I am NOT the "fish"...

rainbeau_peep said...

Egad! I think I have a readership! and my dear, if ur kidding about the Bleak House test being on Wednesday, then u've turned out to be a very nasty young lady. If ur not, then, marry me, will u?
Also, I KNOW who u r. I KNOW all ur secrets. *eerie laughter, fade out into 1 white spot on black background, and then a scream. screen turns red .. etc.* er.. i don't watch horror movies ... much.