Tuesday, October 25, 2005

This has got to be a hurried post. Am in Sydney right now, writing this from a friend's hostel computer [not being the frivolous spending sort, I enjoy services that may be obtained for free, even if it means trespassing, which is precisely what I'm doing right now].
The weather was brilliant so far, but it's raining a bit right now. Went to Coogee Beach today, saw 3 topless women with nice breasts, and 1 with sagging ones [Kucho, are you listening?].
Shopping is ridiculous, considering that Indian motifs seem to be in fashion here. Frightful skirts that they sell outside New Market are haute couture [pronounced: oh, kutu] here. I think I have a new business plan.
Have been wandering around town by myself, except today, when I met up with aforementioned old friend from desh. So then, this chinky guy with a mohawk catches me in the middle of the road, and smiles and whoops for joy and demands to know whether I remember him. I say I've never seen him before. I'm a stickler for the truth. Appreciating my honesty, he falls in love [if I SAY he falls in love, he does. It's MY word against nobody's.] and asks me to dinner. Asks me where I study, tells me he's an automobile engineer, was born in Korea, and christened Ryan. Insists on buying me coffee, when I tell him I'm only here on vacation. I smile nervously, consider running, and then decide to tell him about the father who is here with me, and who I'm supposed to be meeting. Ryan understands fathers are a dangerous species, not to be messed with. He lets me go after a peck on my hand.
His parting shot is, "You're the most beautiful Korean I've ever seen."
KOREAN?!?!?!?! You could put an engine in my belly and call me DAEWOO and I still wouldn't look KOREAN!!!!!
But what I'm trying to impress upon you, dear reader, is that, I may not find a date in desh, but Here, I'm gooood!

*blows last smoke ring, stubs out lipstick-smeared cigarette and struts out. fade sound: slutty stilletos [stilletoes?]*

p.s.:- I actually panicked and called D long distance.


Bee said...

the unfairness of life.koreans ask you out on dates and fall in lurrve.me,they con into thinking some random korean coin is a five pound coin in a flea marketin london.and THEN they snigger behind my back.

Teleute said...

tumi ki Haute! ki Haute!

and my indian niece was offered a modelling assignment because people thought she was brazilian :D

thalassa_mikra said...

I'm going to ignore what you say about not finding a good date in desh, because for all I know you are a super hottie.

But it is a fact that estimation of your looks change once you step out India. In India I was a naak-khanda, haari-mukho ugly woman.

In LA I'm chased by the most gorgeous black men (apparently I'm considered quite a hottie by the black community), Persian men cannot stop raving about my nose (they prefer khanda naak) and in general am considered much more attractive than back home.

So embrace your adoption by the Korean community, some of the men are fabulous looking (although on the whole, they tend to be the worst sort of MCPs).

Black Jedi said...

RB sweets, you, to put it mildly, rock. I will still decide on my own whether or not you're hot, though. I have already pronounced Telly illegal. Your turn.

Unjustified Insanity~~ said...

who cares about flat-faced kor hawkers .

p.s. if u don't want to post them on blog then u can always mail it to MEEE (psycho.ac@gmail.com )

rainbeau_peep said...

Cass - LOL!!! Crap, did that really happen to you? The worst i can remember is, having to grapple with Thai hawkers for BBQ chicken .. uhm .. never mind.

Utey - Good for your niece!!! And before you call me hot one more time, and have children demanding to see my naked photos and other sundry readers deluding themselves into believing you, lemme tell you the story about how i was stopped in Singapore today by two persistent women who fished out before-after photos of themselves and juggled Herbalife samples [they're slimming pills n powders. i don't expect U to know a thing abt 'em.]under my nose, trying to convince me it's the very life-changing experience I was born for.

Thalassa - Hullo there, refer comment to Tele abt super hottie reference. I'm khaada-naaked and haari-mukho, do u think i could get a Black man with gorgeous biceps? I have umm .. er .. a bicep .. thing.
As for Koreans, they're only good if they're either stationery or automobile. :-D

BJ - i'm sun-dried and have nothing to say. ur married and should keep quiet.

Kucho - U aint old enough,and I ain't slim enough, child.