Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Shaadi Vaadi Hai Rabba - II

So Shoe is now a beast of burden. Or a married man, if you will. Anklet is, as predicted, fair, pretty, smiles docilely. And constantly, even after 3 hours of standing on the dais, displayed to hundreds of people she doesn't know. Hundreds of people who smile broadly back, and then speculate on the notun bou's appearance and the cost and quantity of her jewellery. But Anklet seems great - she'll never be an Ank, but she'll make a fabulous Anklet Boudi whose pulao mangsho and payesh are to die for and who will always giggle with you. I like her!
As a prelude to the reception, we met up at Deb's for a celebratory drink-n-dope. Chez Deb is the best party pad ever ever. It's a spacious, tastefully furnished empty apartment - all marble, lots of rooms, just the correct soft lighting for a party. And woohoo, she's promised to come back for the New Year's party, which by the way, is always a riot - anywhere between 30-50 people, all sorts of dope, Kneo's "ley taal"[lethal] cocktails which always taste like daab er jol[nariyal pani], and which always always get you high in fifteen minutes [no, I haven't a clue about what goes in there. None of us do, he shuts himself in the kitchen and emerges juggling cocktail shakers, lime and glasses], lots of music and manic dancing, russian salad and cold cuts. But that's another post altogether. Incidentally, should Deb get leave from work in Delhi and land up to let us have our party, it'll be a boon, considering our only other alternative was to loiter around Park Street and Sudder Street until we were picked up by cops and could have our party at the station. [erm... it can be done, believe it or not. Some of the gang tried it a couple of weeks back.]
Anyhoo, the drink-n-dope yesterday. While the girls changed and tripped over each other's saris in their pencil heels, the boys trudged drunkenly around, pretending to be Bollywood villains of the '70s and leering at the girls. Well ok, only Kneo, true to form, did that. J looked exquisite as did Squee, although she broke the sari-wearing pact. Of course, I was the clumsiest and happened to be able to drape my sari solely in a manner that made my arse look like the dome of the Birla Planetarium. So, much sari-fixing followed in terms of 1) Slapping my bot furiously to tame the creases that had gone haywire, 2) Boxing my bot and chanting,"Die! Die!", while Joyus, Deb's fiance yelled, "Perverse! Perverse!" and also,"Bondage!" 3) Scowling, and then Deb tut-tutting,"Oh darling, it's not the sari, it's just you!"
I broke my no-zoint record. Ended up having too many and feeling a trifle tipsy. Although I insist that wasn't the booze or the zay, it was the stilletoes.
Then everybody got philosophical and began advising Jay, Squee and me[yea yea, not "me" but "I". go ta hell] about the future. Joyus strummed the guitar and said stuff about leaving Kolkata because it was a bad place to begin one's career, Alcohol Al waved his drink at me in assent, and the Sundance Kid told me I should leave Kolkata to learn that if I don't wash my undies today, tomorrow they will remain unwashed. Profound.
When we finally decided to leave for Shoe's reception, it was already 15 minutes after we had promised to reach. And Salt Lake is quite a distance to travel from Jodhpur Park.
So taxis were hailed and oh look, mo zoints being rolled! Kneo was superbly high and kept gibbering the entire time. At one point he sang a song called "Cauliflower Kim" or something to that effect, when the cabbie couldn't take it any more and indulged in some serious motor madness. He was only pacified when Squee wielded a cigarette under his nose, which was when he slowed down and prepared to goggle his eyes at her.
The reception itself was understated and dignified and attended by bureaucrats and real estate magnates. Shoe's father is an important person and his mother looks like Helen - not in her cabaret dancer days, but in the now. Shoe was playing the perfect host - scampering all over the shamiana which had been done up in a cheerful Rajasthani theme and asking people to "Eat well". It was amusing watching him be a quintessential groom - polite smile in place, engaging in small talk and playing with the children. He confessed later to having downed a few stiff drinks and a couple of joints, which basically explains it all. The food was again, simple but fantastic- especially the chutney, which had kaju, kismis, khejur and aamshotto. Joyus played the photographer, roaming all over the place with his digital camera, overhearing conversations and rushing back to report same, convulsing in laughter thereafter. At one point he claimed to have seen a voyeur in the loo. Kneo kept tripping over the carpet, Alcy Al and Sundance constantly disappeared,holding hands [they're not gay, drink makes them ... convivial .. with each other], and Andy kept looking for bins while The Furies [J, Squee and "I"] spotted an Uncle Fester in drag.
Much fun was had, that's what I'm trying to tell you.
Not a taxi to be found when the guests had mostly all left, and we had contributed magnanimously to drinking all the milky sweet coffee, leaving none for others. So we walked awkwardly for a while, till our ankles and every part of our being screamed for liberation. The boys finally had mercy and left us to have masala pepsi at a road-side stall [god knows why it was open at that unearthly hour] and nurse our aching limbs while they took an auto to Karunamoyee to hail cabs. Somebody's cheery suggestion that we take a bus was vetoed with a lot of us reaching for the sharp end of our shoes to poke him with.
All in all, good stuff. But Middlemarch must be read forthwith.

23 comments:

DD said...

brill account it ij. you seriously provide the comic relief of the day.

Acroyali said...

eh..? reception'er aage drink 'n dope party? besh, besh.

and the naam dujnt mean nething speciphic, it ij a piece by yanni.

rainbeau_peep said...

dd,
Most kind syar, ewe ij most kind! :-]

acroyali,
Totally (to-tulli?), ei to jibon (hic!)jak na jey dike jetey chaaye n awl that.
And yes yes of course it's a piece by yanni - page 2 of google did indeed mention it. Figured u were either a piece by yanni or an apartment block in Greece - now i know. :-]

Teleute said...

began advising Jay, Squee and me - that's actually correct.

yea yea, not "me" but "I" - that's the wrong bit.

trust me, i know.

:D

Teleute said...

and this post makes me feel tremendously food and THC deprived...

you meanie!

:(

bluefunk said...

spending the night at sudder street thana
who would have thought eh

rainbeau_peep said...

Utey,
*kneels down and prays to the souls of Wren & Martin for forgiveness*
Incidentally,u must be correct, becoz the J, Squee and Me sentence can be broken up into 3 separate sentences, each of which would make perfect sense. Aah, much embarassed am I, but oh Anglo-Saxon Chronicler, I bow down to ur superior knowledge!

Sweety,
Hmm, yes. Glad u paid attention to this post, seeing as how u fail to comprehend other entries and then go sniggering about how my rich boyfriend gifts me iPODs. I don't have a rich boyfriend, and the iPOD was not for me. And for the record, when i date, i go dutch.

babelfish said...

charming recital but will I get poked by those heels if I mention *insert snooty tone of studious first boy* I have *almost* finished reading Middlemarch
*on the other hand, I don't have your brains and am studying seriously nothing...will phelunk...bherry shad :(*

bluefunk said...

sorry sorry
1 lack of attention
2 undue dramatic license taken to colour yet another insipid morning in clg
if the written conversation is like the editorial pages of a newspaper, then speech is mostly tabloid

bluefunk said...

dorothea is a lot like estella from great expectations..a calm about them, peaceful
and yet winter on their wing

jaded said...

ahem! very interesting life you lead!

Lancelot said...

still more on food and beverages... will this ever stop?? at least i am going home finally!!!
it IS a hilarious account... amazing post
and if all ur initial capers happened in jodhpur park, wonder if my mom saw u ppl!!!

rainbeau_peep said...

Bab'ly,
Of course you'll phelunk. Had I been more concerned about rankings, I'd have known whether you were among the top five or the top three in class - it would've made ascertaining the surety of your phelunking so much more easier. And oh, I'm just about midway through Middlemarch, I've given Bleak House the cold shoulder, and I haven't begun Odd Women.

Sweety,
I'm far from finishing Middlemarch, but where I am now, Dorothea hardly shares the cold hauteur of Estella that made her so distant and exotic - she seems staid and eager to please, in comparison.

Jaded,
Yes, it's the circus of my dreams. :-] *the secret is to sensationalise every minor detail of ur life*

Lancelot,
If u'd seen me, u'd know exactly how important food is in my life.
And if your mom saw a delirious bunch of girls awkwardly running after taxis, all the while cursing one another very loudly for stepping on each other's sari'r aaNchol, and a bunch of guys in kurtas, leather jackets and what not yelling to the girls to quit their buffoonery - then yes, that was us, and my sincerest apologies to ur mother, just in case. :-|

Prerona said...

all of them taste like daaber jol? poor thing :)

bluefunk said...

her hauteur is reserved for ladislaw, casaubon she thinks she loves, and is thus eager to please
yet this distance is what draws ladislaw,while casaubon burns in the warmth of all her ardor
the portrait by the german in the vatican is most illuminating

babelfish said...

erm rainbeau love, very impolite of me to thrust myself thus into other people's dialogues but whoever blue funk is I'm afraid either he hasn't read Middlemarch or Great Expectations and is trying to pull some aantel sh** or he's trying to mislead you.
dorothea=estella : NEVER..
but do read the book yourself and tell us what you think..

in the meantime, phelunking we will consider later for the moment the amount cassy and I are planning to leave out is beyond funny and bordering on terrifying :D

rainbeau_peep said...

prerona,
Lol, yes unfortunately, but it's a tangy daaber jol taste. and hits u right in the head making ur pupils dilate n swirl about like in the cartoons :-]

Sweety,
I'm at a point where it's quite quite evident that she longs for his friendship - I'm not getting much hauteur here. She can only be most free with Ladislaw, bcoz she dreads disappointing Casaubon and thus cannot express herself in his presence. And Casaubon seems to only want to exercise a sort of proprietary right over her. That's how I read it so far.

Bab'ly,
I don't agree with him either, but then ur entitled to ur own interpretation, i suppose. As for the syllabus - like i said, I'm still reading Middlemarch. And absolutely nothing else. Say a prayer for me.

DD said...

lotun post kothay

rainbeau_peep said...

nei, hariye gyechhe

Dee said...

Some interesting friends there. when do you plan to check out the party in the thana yourself :P

All the best for your finals!

rainbeau_peep said...

dee!,
You're back, my beeyootee! As for the thana bash- my mummy tells me I mustn't be naughty till I'm married and cease to be her responsibility. :-|

Dee said...

RB: I was reading all this time-just not commenting :).

Mummy is just giving you a good option. What if your party friends turn out to be lousy in the new settings or get too drunk and pass out on you? Then you can just have a good steamy time with your hubby =D

Pantyhoser said...

This is a nice blog for people like me. I have a fetish foot leg blog with hot erotic stories and pictures related to pantyhose and foot fetish. Take a look at Pantyhosed Feet Gallery Viewer