Thursday, August 03, 2006

College Chronicles

And because I have painstakingly wasted precious Lord-Jim-reading time on painting this blog in different hues of prettiness and must oblige it with some text [however irrelevant to all our lives] in celebration of the sidebar's miraculous dhei-dhei naach to it's rightful place from the depths of oblivion wherein it hath resided these many sunsets, to the right side of this exuberant piece of literature, I shall tell you of the things that excite the Peep's edgy nerves these days. To make matters relatively easier, I shall shorten my sentences. And tabulate.

  • Don't blame the media and Hollywood for this fascination for stick-insectitude and a propensity towards complete drainage of bodily fluids in order to wear that size supersmall nanoskirt. I have been taught that, Aristotle, and may he be reborn as an anorexic grasshopper [positively illiterate. this is of the utmost importance.] declared that beauty is a matter of size and order, and that, goddamit, a whole can be seen only in terms of its parts to be called beautiful. Hence, thus and therefore, what he's pretty much trying to say is, that a very large person will be beyond our aesthetic perception. Uhm, something like that, anyway.
  • I have been flung about and hurt my knee and danced like I had a lizard doing cartwheels about my spine and thoroughly enjoyed it all, during rehearsals. Don't even ask what we're putting up. I'm not quite sure myself. All I know so far is that it involves bangla, bamboo poles, oil and jazz. Yes, I'm keeping the suspense. It makes for good publicity.
  • I have received my 2nd semester marks. Predictably, queer studies has fucked me straight. Which would have been fine, if I hadn't been so completely convinced I'm not going to pass Literary Theory this semester. Don't get me wrong, I don't harbour any delusions of grandeur about my Intelligence Quotient. I've been made to feel stupid before - like the time back in school when my friends dared me to summon a waiter by screaming,"Squeeze Me!" across the room and I did, because, hey i'm the too-coolz. It led to a series of unfortunate events, and we shall leave it at that. But nothing, nothing absolutely, has induced that unnerving feeling of sandstorms inside my brains as much as every single Lit. Theory class is doing. I Do Not Understand A Damn Thing. Refer to unintelligible Point 1 above. And no, do NOT recommend tearing hair and gnawing knuckles. They don't work.
  • I have watched Omkara and simultaneously fallen in love with Ajay Devgan, Saif Ali Khan and a little bit of Kareena. I love Ajay Devgan more, and I don't care that Saif was brilliant as Iago. He was, though. But Ajay was leytaal Omi. I will watch it again. It is fabuloso. Strongly recommend it.
  • I have come to the conclusion that our juniors, collectively, are hopping mad. Each and every one of them. And I mean cuh-razy. Nuts. Screwdhila. Sadly though, their insanity is spreading like an epidemic and now we, who are the old-n-wise have started suddenly speaking in broken hindi, even though we're all bangali, and saying things like "heads mein no brains only you have" and giggling hysterically for no particular reason like we were pony-tailed pubescents. Most unbecoming, wottotell only. dammit.
  • I have begun completely, utterly, totally forgetting things. Like what other points I had in mind. This makes for a fabulous conclusion, then.


rainbeau_peep said...

wtf? why is my bulleted text in caps? i didn't use caps?!?! halp!

Anonymous said...

Vesh hua. Tum joghonno log humko aur tinie ko nahi le gaya Omkara dekhne, hunko gandha Nobina me ja kar dekhna para. Jaggu ka mummy ne BOLA toh ke tum log hamare saath mish sakte ho.

Rapid I Movement said...

Ekey boley - divine intervention. Erom-i hoy...shudhu mudhu lok jonder gaali gaalaj korley.

Aar tNyash, aami? Orom hotey geley aagey one has to walk through the haloed corridors of a certain dept. of a certain institution in a certain city. Oi jara kothai kothai hebbi hebbi inglis jherey onnoder bhoi dakhai.

scorpionragz said...

GET THAT!!!!!!!
If ur fat, i don't even wanna think abt wot i am!!!!
and ur ryt ve are absho nutties!!! hamara hindi khub bahut accha hai. kiya tum sab bolte ho yaaaaaaaaaar!!!!!!!

Teleute said...

arre, tum gandu hain kya?

Teleute said...

aur tum kal humara play dekhne aayega? free pass hain humare paas.

March Hare said...

ki kando!!! Jazz and bangla too??? Whottotell only...

arundhati said...

hum bhi bolega ....han, tum toh exam me phata diya, phir bhi nukamow keeyu karta hai...aur hum junior log ...or atleast hum khud, ke liye hi tumhara buring jindagi mein thora muzaa hain...naach toh hordom nahin hoga, ub toh tumhara vayas ho gaya,tun vuri ho gaya..isiliye..TANG MAT KARO!
kya valoo!

rainbeau_peep said...

shrin sundar banarsi,
Baaje mat boko! hum tinie ko hajar baar bola, ke humara saath aao, woh boli uska beauty sleep nasht ho jaayega morning show dekhegi to. Aur Jogu ka mummy bolne se nehi hoga. tum bachchelog ko mad cow disease hai, mairi! hum ko bhi paaglami ka rog ho jaayega!

rapid i movt,
ami jaataa level er bhalo meye, bole diloom kintu! kaukke gaali di-i na.
aar onyo point er hint ta ami niloom na. ferot diye diloom.

kya gajab ki baat hai. hum bhi heroine, tum bhi heroine, aao galey milke mini skirt por ke khoob moja karte hai.

sala apunka dialogue apun pey maaregi tu? maarna hi hai toh style sey maar, ontoto! bol, "gundoo hai KAA?!" 'kya' nehi. 'ka'.
asavya larki. free pass ka baat friday bolne sey kya mukh mein fNora hota?!

ki volvo. kola aar kalaripayattu also, it turns out. [second ta highly namano jaabe na. orom thham er moto tthyang niye ki aar hawaye gol gol ghurey laathhi mara shombhob? shombhob na.]

aare?! hum nukaami kahaan kiya? humara 5% ka demotion huwa, usi liye bola. aar kaalez mein jaake hum tumko "tere bina jiya jaaye na" gaa ke suna dega, isse zyada emosun tumpe waste nahi kar sakta. waise bhi, hum tumhara jindagi mein nahin aata to aaj tum phya phya karke college mein ghumta. humara superior intelligence hi to tumhe jeevit rakha hai!!
aur shotyi humka vayas hua. yeh naachtaach karne ka time pey komor hi nehi doolta hai, mairi!
aur tum humko valoo kyun bolta?! VIRAKT MAT KARO!!

Madhura said...

bahhh! ki shoondor blog!! dekhe ma-prun bhaar giya :)

Anonymous said...

yes, why is everybody trotting around the department spouting what in good conscience can only be described as abysmal hindi?

Anonymous said...

Yeh anonymous shayad tintin da ho sakta hain, woh kinchit apatyi kar raha thha. Nahi bhi ho sakta. Fata nahin mujhe.

Anonymous said...

tum nasht maagi! tumra phown number tum humko nahi deta toh hum kaa karega? hum jaggi d ko sms kiya, par jaggi d kuchh bola nahin. is mein humra kaa kasoor?

tum jaake jaggi d ko thaash thaash kar ke chawr maaro.

arundhati said...

arrey hum tumko valoo nahin bola(jodiyo yo achha naam hoga tumhara liye-jogu bagheera hoga aur shootki mowgli-ham nuhuy louis bon jayega)...kya valoo hain ki bolbo ka hindi uccharun..sumjha...aur tumhaara superior intelligent ka bat mat bolo...hum owese bhi kullege mein phya phya karke ghoomta hain.

aur hamein nahin lagta anon tintinda hain..wo kabhi aapna identity lukata nahin hain.
aur tum daya karkey humko gana mat sunana-hum hutaas ho jaye ga.

Anonymous said...

erm i did wonder why it was all i ncaps because it did make for difficult reading!

The new template though- oh lala. vibrant!

Anonymous said...

erm won't attempt broken hindi because i know it in full wonly :D

Abhijit Gupta said...

anonymous tintinda nehi hain, kumari mayavati. jodio anonymous ko main shompurno samarthan karta hoon.

rainbeau_peep said...

tere moo mein ghee shakkar!

it's in. it's the thing to do, at the place to be. the whole idea is to speak the language as incorrectly as is possible. anyone can do the right thing. the point to prove is, how wrong can u go?
it's the ... new rebellion. as it were.

shrin sundar brindavani,
anonymous tintin da nahi hai. tintin da ka kya khaake daake kam nehi, jo anonymous ka roop mein khudko pradarshan karega?
aur tum itna mat fatao. humara chhata par adverse effects hota hai. :-|

tum humko marwayega kaa? jogu ko hum thhash thhash karke maarega to woh humko chhoto ungli sey utthake jheel ka underwater torture cell mein impale kar degi.
aur phown numbar maangogi tab to denge?! emni emni parayi aurat ko mein numbar nehi deti, mein kya nasht hoon?

tum hutaas ho ke agyaan ho jaaogi to bohut in-charektar lagega - pura star-star! hum shutki ko bata dega ki tum usko sirf chaddi mein dekhna mangti ho. woh tumpe aakraman karegi.

we're going nuts in here - it's that time of the year, at the beginning of a new semester, when you've just realised all your hopes of doing well are being dashed to the ground and there isn't much else to do but crack up and play cards.

tintin da,
aap shrin ko mayavati kaahe bolte ho? kahaan shahi-tukra aur kahan karela ka juice.

ok, we have GOT to cut it out now.

Dipanjan Das said...

copy all the comments and they qualify for a post.

Nayan said...

What is this post about.. do u remember? :D

Black Jedi said...

You are losing it, RB darling. And very fast, at that.

rainbeau_peep said...

yes, we aim to entertain from where you'd least expect it.

are any of my posts worth remembering? we're just outrageously insane, no more.

How dazzlingly perceptive of you. You're still incredibly slow on the uptake, of course. But, getting there, eh?

Poorna Banerjee said...

about that beauty in bits... dereling... sure wish I could write something to describe word perfect the perfection of your bum.

rainbeau_peep said...

i vava. bole toh, to quote from the film that made cinematic history, Jodi No. 1 - Bum bum pey likha hai, fatney waaley ka naam.

arundhati said...

ish...nasht maagi!tum kitna cheap chhavi dekhta hain!asavya vanar kathaakar!

Anonymous said...

Sorry boss. Maney tintin da. Erom hoy. Ar hindi valo lagche na.

March Hare said...

nasht magi!!!!!!!!!!

March Hare said...

asavya vadar!!!!

Rimi said...

Sala, ei blog porte ashar aage masseur niye asha uchit! Haaste haaste pet byatha hoye jaye! Ki bolbo, khali porchhi aar chitkaar kore haaschhi. The parents are delighted at confirmed signs of insanity (or so they think).

BUT. Peepsie love, amake konodin Hindi bolte shunechho? Orokom umbrella-types blame game khelo na boss. Amader tyansh Bangali hurt khoob haart hoy :-(

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Maane, hom bohut cheshta kor-ke bhi etoh phat-phat-ke - maane phata-phati aar ki - byapaar jaa-ke bolta hai, bhaabne ko bhi nahin shokta hai.

Maane yeh aar ki, ei Rimi Baby ko ajasrya dhannyavaad jo hum ko is opurbo shahittyo thok joag, iye link jisko bolta hai, diya.

Main obhi se aap shob kaa bohut jore-jore-ka-cholne-wala pankha ho gaya, aap shob mera shobinoy pronaam grohon korna.

And yes, please do publish with comments as a separate post.


Rapid I Movement said...

Naasht, bhraast - shobkuch! Raashtriya bhasha ka this prokaar gono-dhorshon...aaj kaal ka chokri-log...keval Neil Gaiman aur Terry Pratchett pardta aur hijibiji aar volega?

Rapid I Movement said...

Gee...can't believe I just actually wrote that. You folks HAVE to stop this. It's infectious!

rainbeau_peep said...

Oye bubbly?!?! Tum shala ek hi post mein humko bhaloo, vaanar aur magi [nasht magi ka royalty do biri kal leke aana kaalez] bana diya? tumhara zindagi ka circus mein sab hi star attraction ka hum hi hain, mairi? aur Govinda ko leke kuch nei bolne ka, kya? pura No.1 ka series dekh liya apun. woh mera woh mera woh mera woh mera, woh mera HERO No. 1!!!
*ami ishot mataal. kajei kindly adjust.*

wottotell only. shobai fagol hoye gyese. ami chhara.

masseur? mystic? alu'r chechki to puro. spank you for the link. tumlog ka liye humka blogwa ko bahut publicity milta hai. hum prasanna hooey. :-]
aar amake Peepsie bole laabh nei. amar naribhuri tey ki pesticide aachhe naki? ami havoc sweet, bole diloom.

Jadu ki J(h)APpi / JAPinder Kaka,
bole toh, it ij ok. apunlog to hasi-maja karke hi jindagi beeta deta hai. aapka to hum Himgiri ka cooler hai, wottotell only.
aapko achha laga dekh ke mein pulakita hooey.

as voov up there often says,"Terry Pratchett, Meri Pratchett", wotis there?

*voov, dekh dekh, mein credit di tereku*

Anonymous said...

nasht mutaaal!


Anonymous said...

I like the old one better.Anyways, do write something new.....i do hope the bawali has given you fresh fodder!

Green grow the rushes there..REM