Monday, October 09, 2006

Dyspe(e)psia

Listen. I shan't have it anymore. There's only so much I can stands, i can stands no mores. I mean, it's O.K. to holler for me across the department corridor and come trotting up to jiggle my arms and watch amazed at the 4 and a half 'good vibrations' [stop pretending you didn't know i was cheesy] they will execute for you. And sure, when I'm having my evening coffee at Milon Da's and you're all a-rosy and prepared to play ranna-bati with my arms, making me spill my coffee as you enthusiastically knead like it's time for dinner - I don't mind. I'm even going to smile indulgently, and say a little prayer for the ground to crack open and swallow you up, you little termite, you *notice terribly indulgent tone of voice*. But I'll tell you what I won't stand. I will NOT be disturbed mid-jhaari at a pujo pandal, and I will NOT have crazy women sprinting for my fat, wrists asunder. There is absolutely No point in trying the seductive come-hither when the other-party sees trusty aides massaging your biceps in public, like you were some sort of pehelwan. Girls, i love you, I do, but ... break on through to the other side, as it were.

Very nice. Point number two. I do want to make friendship with you. Oh yes. But I don't need to join Orkut for that. Please cease and desist sending invites, o wellwishers and one and a quarter lovers of the Peep. You may all contact me on Yahoo, and we shall talk of beautiful things like life and it's intricacies. Victoria's Secret. Or yours and mine, even.

I've been a little distracted. A trifle angry. I'm also afraid it probably shows.
Anyway, I've been drinking like a fish, making new friends and doing some other things.
Maybe, another day, I will tell you the story of how my cousin sister punched an aged relative on the nose, and promptly got a bottle of water emptied on her clothes. In the middle of a crowded street. Tiring, this.

By the way, does anyone think Nizam's serves its kebabs half-cooked?

And this is frightfully important. I need a topic for my writing in practice assignment. A short story. Please. Anybody. Interesting topics. Quick, before I become an alcoholic.


p.s. : i am NOT becoming an alcoholic.

update : Kindly extend your sympathies to a certain Pom Fretty who has been hurling herself under falling trees with disastrous consequences. May she continue to provide entertainment, albeit minus health hazards to her frail frame.

21 comments:

sandman said...

Do you have a pint of milk n kaju badam every morning then??N Nizam's is still open? One does hear disquieting rumours these days.Ahh, the Kobiraji.........

Us wants the story.

P.S.:How about Himesh Reshamiya for a topic?

Rapid I Movement said...

Ei, Orkut kintu hebbi bhalo jinish mairi.

And aaj shokaaley, I got startled by a nasty dream of being made to go on knyach-kola and pnyepney sheddo for a month by my dida (oh she does that whenever "she" has a pyet kharap). Juicy enough as a topic, eh?

ushmi said...

arreh nizam jotodin bondho chhilo hebbi chhilo maeri... no qoschen of halfcooked stuff...kintu ekhon BEEF bondho??!!??

Dhruva said...

Go alcoholic. Booze is good. I am bad.

Dhruva said...

PS: *Evil grin*

Teleute said...

I merely stumbled and fell, do not overly dramatise. And thank you for the sympathy. This is precisely why I love you so.

vuttaa said...

if Nizam is serving half-cooked food then it's time you visit the one (forgot the name) next to Jamuna theatre. no idea if it's still alive. we used to feast on 5 takar beef roll. but that was long time ago.

for the topic, what about this?
"Beauty is in the eye of ... the be(er)Holder" :)

rainbeau_peep said...

sandman,
is it not enough that i am 8 kilos overweight without the milk n kaju badam before breakfast? Nizam's has reopened, has bedecked itself in shocking multicolours that makes it look like a blooming parachute, and sells, i suspect, half-cooked meat.
and no, himesh reshammiya is not meaty enough for an assignment topic. i mean, ok, so the whole nation wants to know whether he's bald- but there's only so much you can stretch that scoop into a story.

stuntmaster,
orkut. hebby bhalo jinish. yes. tao aami sign up korbo na. no.

and, with all due respect, aapnar dida'r bowel movements ebong diet er catalogue niye bishesh romanchok/roshalo goppo lekha'r khomota aamar nei.

ushmi,
hain! no BEEF!! and the colours! the colours, mairi?!?! deyaaler ki rong! waiterder ki rongbaji!

dhruva,
iyarki maarish na, guru. doshdik theke 'well-wisher'ra doomdaam jhaarchhe. shokal theke raat obdhi boka khachhi bondhuder kaachhe.

utey,
my supine snapdragon. take a look at your own blogposts and then tell me i'm overly dramatising.

vuttaa,
dhyat. u think i'm going to scourge the city for places that sell uncooked meat? beef rolls kintu anwar shah tey hebby pawa jaaye. jodio very very spicy.
(hullo. welcome. you're new. make yerself at home) :-]

Fuzz. said...

OMG. Half cooked meat. Look, I *just*( threw up, ok? Sshh.

Dhruva said...

Keno boka khacchish bol to? Golpo likchish na bole? Na alcoholic hoe jacchish bole? :D

Perspective Inc. said...

LOL!!

The Alluder of Alliterations said...

"cousin sister" is incorrect english.. you are expected to denote the gender of your cousin by placing an appropriate pronoun and not other wise... if you so wish you may also describe your cousin and then mention the gender.. you may use whichever method appeals best to you..

Ancalagon The Black said...

Ms. Raven,

Warped Spiral happens to be a certain delectable person also known as Diviani. I suspect that she is sometimes found hanging out her long tresses to dry at the ol' ledge. I have also been trying to attract her attention for a long time; not without success though.

Oho, and I was indeed, the overweight man in the "snowy-white" LOTR kurta, a custom made speciality, courtesy my ol' grandmum. In fact, my erstwhile school mate, also known as Debanjan was lamenting that every year since 2001, I wear the same thing on Oshtomi and couldn't I please get a change.

I smile every year and say, No. Its the only thing that gets me noticed.

And thats when, I believe that Diviani O' Long Tresses directed my attention yonder and I expected to beheld much blubber and adipose tissue but instead found much beauty.

Ancalagon The Black.

Anonymous said...

jiggly wiggly woo :D

oof! the picture is killing! :D




... now i shall scoot and hide...

rainbeau_peep said...

fuzz,
too much fuzzlamo is a health hazard, yes. anyway, i know what u've done this shorot. :-p *mwuahahaha*

dhruva,
alcoholic hoye jachhi boley, abar ki. kintu aar hochhi na oboshyo. ek shoptaho puro dry. i'm invincible now. [fuck i need a drink]

perspective inc,
hihihahaha

zaoza,
i am enlightened. i shall keep this in mind, thank you. and perhaps, when we meet, i shall return the favour by helping you with your english pronunciation.

ancalagon the black,
you are most kind. aah, so a Warped Spiral is a person. I'm afraid i have not had the pleasure of her acquaintance. which is unremarkable, since i only associate myself with people who are absolutely upto no good.
your grandmother must very cool to indulge your LOTR obsession so.
And, if you've been able to fit into the same article of clothing for the last 5 years, then no, you haven't gained no weight.
Now, go have a celebratory drink on my behalf. Someone should, since I'm not getting any. [booze, i.e.]

anon,
huh? eh?
jiggly wiggly woo .. would be my love handles? - all 3 of em?
wozza killing ficture? i wanna see!
agar oly ka daru peeya hai to saamne aa!

The General Populace,
Excuse the preoccupation with alcohol. I am not only having withdrawal symptoms, I have also had an unnecessary and immesnely juvenile squabble with a friend and besides, am finding typing with my unfiled [defiled?] talons a bit tedious.

Ancalagon The Black said...

Ms. Raven,

My grandmother is exceedingly cool, yes.

And I have gained a lot of weight over the past year... kurta's cover most of it up, you should see me in a t shirt, the sight's grotesque.

Drink? Even though I happen to carry around a hipflask at all times, its been ages since I took a swig. The excess blubber must be lost. A lost cause.

Sigh.

Rimi said...

One dharna. Coming YOUR way. Postsoonorelse.

Anonymous said...

Hello Anjali!!
Haha

Teleute said...

I love you, Rainbeau.

bob said...

mataal,saala!

rainbeau_peep said...

anc the black,
hipflask? wotakando. hmm, right now i'm too sick to think of vodka. which i'm allergic too, can u believe it? a bit o brandy might be nice though. too much is the cold.

rimi,
dhyat. post. bhallage na. U post! [maane, post korechhi kintu]

anon,
wuh?
eki? triffy? wtf?

utey,
thhyang q.

vuv,
egulo ki thik? aami ki taana 8 ghonta nonstop maal kheyeo sober chhilam na? erom bolte paarli? ja tor shonge shob shomporko shesh. :-[