Sunday, October 22, 2006

Why The Peep Must Stay Single - Reason #36387

This morning, my mother's speaking over the phone with a socialite aunty, who's called up, absolutely disconsolate that I couldn't make it to her 'Diwali nite card party n dinner-dance, darling. dress sexy! ha ha ha!' and have absolutely dashed all her hopes of making me a match made in heaven with Aunty R's lives-in-london son. [ok, she only almost speaks like that]. So, my mother shakes her head at me, who am reaching out for the ten billionth tissue the better to wipe my nose with, and says to the Nokia:

"Aarey, M, all these nyaka girls! Lying in bed for 6 days with fever. Nothing to do?! And look at you! I mean, JAAST LOOK AT YOU!! Like a good parson, finding a good-boy for this girl. WHICH GIRL, JAAST SEE?!?! Just come and see, lying like moharani on the bed! *the doc had advised bed rest. which, i admit, i don't need. but hey, if i'm not allowed to leave the house, then i'm not quitting the bed either*
ladka dikhne mein achha hone sey kya hoyega? mera ledki ko dekho na abhi, beelkul shoshan ka mora ka maafik dikhne mein hai. goru ka maafik bhNuri hai, aur mukh mein ekdom gaal-tobrano. .. hain hain, aarey .. u know .. the cheeks ... almost inside the face *don't even ask*. And the hair is not there anymore! *wonder where it is* whatever she has, gone completely white. *grey*
anyway, i have given her so many rishtas, M. she only wants poet with jhola-daari! *i certainly don't. anyway, i suspect she meant jhola and daari. not .. uhm .. hanging beard-like* Ekdin uttha ke leyke aayegi mera matha khaane ke liye. .... no, no! jhaaru peetke peetke i will kick out any ghor-jamais!"

sigh. Happy Diwali everyone.

15 comments:

Prerona said...

Happy Diwali!

thalassa_mikra said...

This is absolutely hilarious! Your mom speaks just like my mom, but the weird part is that my mom still speaks like this after having lived in Delhi for 30 years.

Socialite aunty wants you to dress sexy? Oooooh, so forward forward no?

jhantu said...

shaaram nahi aata hai tumko, ghater mora type bed me para hai and NRI ko reject karta hai...

Ancalagon The Black said...

I will get some wispy winter medieval mead in another month. Maybe then, you might like the fermented honey...

vuttaa said...

chHih chHih, making FUN of gurujons? but the poet bor wid jhola daari, or jhola & daari, wutever! add a thick lensed chasma. jussst too goooood!! 'projapotaye namaho'... :)

Sir Mayo said...

Kakimar hindi niye moskora korte lojja kore na! Anyaaa!!! Aar tokey jokhon paraye kukurey tara korechilo aar tui jokhon bolechili - "Ain please amake maat kamraon, ami kintu kukur tara korleo eka eka raasta cross nei korte paarta hain" - tokhon jey kukur gulo haaste haaste paliye gechilo shei hindi shuney, sheta toe bolli na!

Ron said...

Why do all mother have this jharu peetke peetke type sentiments towards possible ghor jamais? Mine told me in no uncertain terms that I am not to live in the same city as her after marriage. Her reason being that I will sit on her ghar and make her do all my housework. Such unfair allegations!

Anonymous said...

Happy Diwali and hope you are feeling better now.

Rimi said...

Hah. MY mother is ten leagues ahead of YOUR mother. The day I narrated my first stalker experience she said "Ami kintu ekhon thekei bole dichhi: if you choose to have kids you shall bring them up yourself. Amar ghare dump kora cholbe na ei bole dilam!"

This after a stalker story. Her mind makes me shudder sometimes.

(Shorir exactly kotota kharap? Tumko class mein dekha na usdin hum?)

Rimi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Apoplexy said...

shundor blog...pore bhalo laglo

The Alluder of Alliterations said...

poke

monku said...

hahahahahah !you're so funnee :)

mojo said...

hilarious!

Acroyali said...

you MUST right in hindi more! :))